Miss Marmelstein

Why is it always Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)

Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)

Oh, Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)

Other girls get called by their first names right away

They get cozy, intimate, know what I mean?

Nobody calls me, "Hey, baby doll" (Miss Marmelstein)

Or "Honey dear"

Or "Sweetie pie" (Miss Marmelstein)

Even my first name would be preferable

Though it's terrible, it might be better, it's Yеtta

Or perhaps my second name, that's Tеssye

Spelled T-E-S-S-Y-E

But no, no, it's always Miss Marmelstein

You'd think at least Miss M they could try

(Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein

(Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein

Oh, I could die

I'm a very willing secretary

Enjoy my work as my employer will corroborate

Except for one disappointment, one fly in the ointment

It's great, I mean, simply greatThe aggravation of my situation

I might as well get it off my chest

It's the drab appellation

Oh, pardon the big words I apply

But I was an English major at CCNY

Drab appellation

With which I am persistently addressed

Persistently, perpetually, continually, inevitably addressed

Believe me, it could drive a person positively psychosomatic

Why is it always Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)

Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)

Oh, Miss Marmelstein? (Miss Marmelstein)

Other girls get called by their nicknames right away

Slightly naughty or risqué, do you know what I mean?

Nobody calls me "Koo-chee-koo" (Miss Marmelstein)

Or "Bubbeleh" (Miss Marmelstein)

Or "Passion pie" (Miss Marmelstein)

Even "Hey there, babe," though not respectable

Ain't so objectable

It's kind of crummy but chummy

Of course, if I got married, that would do it

So, where's the lucky guy? Huh? Oh

'Til then, it still is Miss Marmelstein

Every day I get more and more fussed

(Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein

(Miss Marmelstein) Miss Marmelstein

Miss Marmelstein

Oh-oh, I could bust