Sofa King - Remix

Please, read from sheets

I Am (I Am)

Sofa King (Sofa King)

Scared of a bunch of water? Then get out the rain

Order a rapper for lunch and spit out the chain

Then kick a lungie off the tip of his Timbo

And trick a honeydip into a game of strip limbo

Odd, he couldn't find no remorse

A wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse

Of course, his technique was from a divine source

Never knew the price of ice, or what swine cost

One guy tried to bite the heat

That's when he discovered the other other white meat

Oh, the one they hate so well

He sure keeps it psycho like the old Bates Motel

They came to ask him for at least some new tracks

But only got confronted by the beast with two backs

Knock, Mouse is a made man

Villain laid it down like the best laid plan

Bell the cat, who the hell is that near the middle?

Got y'all, but it's not all beer and Skittles

Prepare the vittles, got riddles and spittles

Crystal clear to the jot, or the tittle

Tssk, it's hot off the griddle

Came to take the cake, whether it's a lot or a little

Kaboom, DOOM is nervous large

You could tell by his blooming room service charge

Dark and tall to boot

The only thing was wrong is he was bald as a coot

Used to ran the van from Peter Pan to red and tan

And keep the human foot for his dead man's hand

This was when the mask was brand spankin' new

Before it got rusted, from drankin' all the brew

Sniff, stankin' too, pew

Kept all his earnings in the bank in a shoe

Spat what he knew, energy for true

To all fake rap, it's 23 skidoo

Excuse you, any room in the class front

For a blast of the blunt, shroomin' since last month

DOOM a human in the mask born to stunt

Danger zoomin' past mad fast on the hunt

Keep your streets, we got the city neatly conquered

Discreetly with the CD 'til they be completely bonkered

The fans demanded it, handle it, swallow it

His own brand of shit, if only he could bottle it

Hmm, nah, shit could get messy

Feds try to torture him for the secret recipe

He said, "It's no use, I only know half

No speak-a the English, I only do the math"

Bzzz, felt no pain

His brain was saturated with cocaine and Rogaine

He said, "Try scam, no thing, three card dead

Fly man go for bling, he got bled

I jam over Sting, see spots red

I Am Sofa King, retard-ed"

Retard-ed

Now repeat all, very fast, please

I Am Sofa King

Faster

I Am Sofa King, retard-ed

No, no, not so fast, loses meaning

I Am Sofa King, retard-ed

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho, you say, funny thing