Sofa King

Please, read from sheets

I am (I am)

Sofa King (Sofa King)

Scared of a bunch of water? Then get out the rain

Order a rapper for lunch and spit out the chain

Then kick a lungee of the tip of his timbo

And trick a honey dip into a game of of strip limbo

Odd, he couldn't find no remorse

A wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse

Of course his technique was from a divine source

Never knew the price of ice or what swine cost

One guy tried to bite the heat

That's when he discovered the other other white meat

Oh, the one they hate so well

He sure keeps it pyscho like the old bates motel

They came to ask him for at least some new tracks

But only got confronted by the beast with two backs

Knock, mouse is a made man

Villain laid it down like the best laid plan

Velvet the cat who the hell is that near the middle

Got y'all but it's not all bare and skittles

Prepare the viddles, got riddles and spittles

Crystal clear to the jock or the tittle

Tsk! It's hot off the griddle

Came to take the cake whether it's a lot or a little

Kaboom, doom is nervous large

You could tell by his blooming room service charge

Dark and tall to boot

The only thing was wrong was he was bald as a coot

Used to rent a van from Peter Pan to red and tan

And keep the human foot for his dead man's hand

This was when the mask was brand spanking new

Before it got rusted from drinking all the brew

Stankin' too, pew

Kept all his earnings in the bank and his shoe

Spat what he knew, energy for true

To all fake rappers, twenty-three skidoo

Excuse you, any room in the class front?

For a blast of the blunt, shrooming since last month

Doom a human in the mask I'm on the stunt

Danger zooming past mad fast on the hunt

Keep the streets, we got the city needing conquered

Discreetly with the city till they be completely bonkered

The fans demanded it, handled it, swallow it

His own brandishing, if only he could bottle it

Hmm, nah she could get messy

Feds tried to tortue him for the secret recipe

He said: "It's no use, I only know half"

"No speake de english, I only do the math"

Zzt, felt no pain

His brain was saturated with cocaine and rogaine

He said: "Try scan no thing three-card dead fly man"

"Go for bling he got bled"

"I jam over sting, see spots red"

"I am Sofa King, We Todd Ed"

We, Todd, Ed

Now, repeat all, very fast, please

I am, Sofa King (faster)

I am Sofa King We Todd Ed

No no, not so fast, loses meaning

I am so fucking retarded

Ho-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho, you say, funny thing!