It Never Woulda Worked Out Anyway

Oh, lighten up, where's your sense of humor

They're just tiny little rumors

That I started 'cause I'm lookin' out for you

Oh, settle down, I'm just a little jealous

And I'm sure those other fellas

Never once believed the lies I told were true

Like the time I told that cowboy

That you used to be a man

And the doctor you were datin'

That you hide your wedding band

Even if I am responsible for scaring them away

They'd really ought to thank me

I was doin' you a favour

'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

Oh, can't you see, the reason that I'm doin'

All the crazy things I'm doin'

Is, because I really care about you girl

And I'll admit I go a little farther

Than I know I probably oughta

But it's all because I need you in my world

Like the time I told that lawyer

That you spent a year in jail

And the salesman you were seein'

You hang out in cheap motels

Even if I am responsible for scaring them away

You'd really ought to thank me

I was doin' you a favor

'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

I can't stand the thought of you

With anybody else

I know I've gone overboard

But I can't help myself

Like the time I told that dentist

You had seven little kids

And you doubled as a dancer at the strip club on the ridge

Even if I am responsible for scaring them away

You really ought to thank me

I was doin' you a favour

'Cause it never woulda worked out anyway

It's all because I love you and

I can't stop thinking of you

And it never woulda worked out anyway