Penguin, James Penguin

Well, the reindeer pull the sleigh

And the elves make the toys

Those are stories that are well known

To all little girls and boys

But I've got another story that I bet you haven't heard

Did you know that Santa

Has a secret agent bird?

He's Penguin, James Penguin

That dapper little guy

Like a well-dressed duck, in a three-piece tux

He's Santa's secret spy

Now have you ever wondered

How Santa Claus keeps tabs?

How he knows when you've been good?

How he knows when you've been bad?

It's Penguin, James Penguin

That dapper little guy

Like a well-dressed duck, in a three-piece tux

He's Santa's secret spy

From an undisclosed location

He's watching me and you

He's got satellite uplinks in his cufflinks

Yeah, he sees everything you do

He's Penguin, James Penguin

That dapper little guy

Like a well-dressed duck, in a three-piece tux

He's Santa's secret spy

Not so very long ago

Santa didn't need much help

But with more and more kids every year

He soon got overwhelmed

He told the elves one Christmas

"We can't do this any more"

And then a knight in shining polyester

Waddled through his door

And it was Penguin, James Penguin

He was there to save the day

He had wireless and GPS

Outfitted on the sleigh

And Santa said, "Penguin"

"Won't you be my ears and eyes"

"How'd you like to help me run my SCFBI?"

He's Penguin, James Penguin

And now I guess you've heard

How Santa got his little

Christmas secret agent bird