Fifty

Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50

Some say I'm old as fuck

Still sippin' Jim Beam whiskey

'Cause goddamn pandemic suck

I guess I'm fuckin' 50

No need to look it up

Well, I might be fuckin' 50

But I still don't give one fuck

Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50

But I'm still standin' tall

Even though I can't hear shit

I can't see and I'm goin' bald

I guess I'm fuckin' 50

But I'm better off than you

Well, I might be fuckin' 50

But your mom still thinks I'm cool, whoo!

Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50

I'm through drinkin' and blackin' out

No more talkin' shit about Oprah

Or fightin' at the Waffle House

I guess I'm fuckin' 50

A far cry from 17

Well, I might be fuckin' 50

But this dick's still long and lean

Alright

Aw, shit

Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50

No more groupies o-on the bus (I gotta chill)

I don't hang much more with outlaws

I spend more time at Toys R Us

I guess I'm fuckin' 50

But that's okay with me

I still rock like a chair, middle finger in the air

With my granddaughter on my knee

Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50

And as I stare down 51

I got a million crazy stories

And can't remember fuckin' one

I guess I'm fuckin' 50

But I still love to dance

Yeah, I might be fuckin' 50, ooh-ooh

(Oh, God Almighty Bob, Jesus, whoo!)

I think I just shit my pants

Well, I guess I'm fuckin' 50

Oh, gettin' old really sucks

Strippers used to kiss me

Nowadays it costs 20 bucks

I guess I'm fuckin' 50

But I still ain't no lame duck

And if the critics still don't dig me, fuck 'em

They can get these nuts, yeehaw!

Yee!