A Musical Apology

I didn't mean it when I said, "I hope

The cable in the elevator snaps

As you step on board"

And I was joking when I said

"I hope you crack your head

And get mangled by the downstairs revolving door"

And I was kidding when I said, "I hope

The number 103 bus

Hits and makes a pancake out of you"

I'm sorry, I'm sorry

Isn't it amazing what a woman in love will do?

And I really don't want to see your taxi

On the 59th Street Bridge

Flip over, crash through the rail

And I'd be sad if at the airport you were

Mistaken for a local sex offender

Arrested, beaten up, and thrown in jail

And I really don't want to see you get

Radiation poisoning from thе metal detectors

That all passеngers on foreign and domestic flights

Must go through

I'm sorry, forgive me

For all of the mean things I said to you[Bridge]

You thought I didn't have a temper

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha, surprise!

But I really don't want to see you

Dismembered by the marijuana-sniffing dogs

When a simple little nipping would suffice

And I'm sorry when I said, "I hope

The flight attendant spills scalding hot coffee on your lap

As you fly away from me"

And I'm sorry when I said

"I hope you break both legs

On the mountain while you ski"

And I'm sorry for all the nasty things

I said about your mother

Even though we both know they're true

I'm sorry, forgive me

I'm swallowing my pride

I'd feel so guilty if you died

I'm sorry but I'm still pissed at you