So Far...

I own a mansion, but live in a house

A king-size bed, but I sleep on the couch

I'm Mr. Brightside, glass is half full

But my tank is half empty, gasket just blew

This always happens, thirty minutes from home

Gotta lay a log cabin, only option I have is McDonald's bathroom

In a public stall, dropping a football

So every time someone walks in the john I get Madden

"Shady, what up?" What? Come on, man, I'm crapping

And you're asking me for my goddamn autograph on a napkin?

Oh, that's odd, I just happened to run out of tissue

Yeah, hand me that, on second thought I'd be glad then

"Thanks, dawg, name's Todd, a big fan"

I wiped my ass with it, crumbled it up in a wad and threw it back and

Told him, "Todd, you're the shit" when's all of this crap end?

Can't pump my gas without causing an accident

Pump my gas, cut my grass, I can't take out the fucking trash

Without someone passing through my sub', harassing

I'd count my blessings, but I suck at math

I'd rather wallow than bask, sufferin' succotash

But the antacid, it gives my stomach gas

When I mix my corn with my fucking mashed

Potatoes, so what? Ho, kiss my country bumpkin ass

Missouri Southern roots, what the fuck is upper-class?

Call lunch dinner, call dinner supper

Tupperware in the cupboard, plasticware up the ass

Stuck in the past, iPod, what the fuck is that?

B-boy to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn ass

Maybe that's why I feel so strange

Got it all, but I still won't change

Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit

It's the motivation that keeps me going

This is the inspiration I need

I can never turn my back on a city that made me and

(Life's been good to me so far)

They call me classless, I heard that, I second and third that

Don't know what the fuck I'd doing if it weren't rap

Probably be a giant turd-sack

But I blew, never turned back

Turned forty and still sag

Teenagers act more fucking mature, Jack

Fuck you gonna say to me?

I leave on my own terms, asshole, I'm going berzerk

My nerves are bad, but I love the perks my work has

I get to meet famous people, look at her, dag

Her nylons ran, her skirt's snagged

And I heard she drag-races, swag

Tuck in my Hanes shirt tag

You're Danica Patrick (yeah) work, skag

We'd be the perfect match

'Cause you're a vacuum, I'm a dirtbag

My apologies, no disrespect to technology

But what the heck is all of these buttons?

You expect me to sit here and learn that?

Fuck I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda?

Be an expert at computers?

I'd rather be an encyclopedia Britannica, hell with a Playstation

I'm still on my first man on some from Zelda

Nintendo, bitch, run, jump, punch, stab and I melt the

Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on bread

Make a sandwich with Welch's and belch

They say this spray butter's bad for my health, but

I think this poor white trash from the trailer

Jed Clampett, Fred Sanford and welfare mentality helps to

Keep me grounded, that's why I never take full advantage of wealth, I

Managed to dwell within these parameters

Still cramming the shelves full of Hamburger Helper

I can't even help it, this is the hand I was dealt, a

Creature of habit, feel like I'm trapped in an animal shelter

With all these pet peeves

Goddammit to hell, I can't stand all these kids with their camera cellphones

I can't go anywhere, I get so mad I could yell, the

Other day someone got all elaborant

And stuck a head from a fuckin' dead cat in my mailbox

Went to Burger King, they spit on my onion rings

I think my karma is catching up with me

Maybe that's why I feel so strange

Got it all, but I still won't change

Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit

It's the motivation that keeps me going

This is the inspiration I need

I can never turn my back on a city that made me and

(Life's been good to me so far)

Got friends on Facebook, all over the world

Not sure what that means, they tell me it's good

So I'm artist of the decade, I even got a plaque

I'd hang it up, but the frame is all cracked

I'm trying to be lowkey, hopefully nobody notices me

In produce hunched over, giant nosebleed

Ogre style as I mosey over to the frozen aisle

By the frozen yogurt this guy approached me

Embarrassed, I just did Comerica with Hova

The show's over, I'm hiding in Kroeger buying groceries

He just had front-row seats, told me to sign this poster

Then insults me, "Wow, up close didn't know you had crow's feet"

I'm at a crossroads, lost, still shopping at Costco

Sloppy Joe's, bulk waffles

Got caught picking my nose, ah

Look over see these two hot hoes

Finger still up one of my nostrils

Right next to 'em stuck at the light

The fucking shit's taking forever to change

It's stuck, these bitches are loving it, rubbing it in

Chuckling, couldn't do nothing, play it off

"What you bumping? Trunk Muzik? Yelawolf's better," fucking bitch

They want me to flip at the label, but I won't succumb to it

The pressure, they want me to follow up with another one after Recovery

Was so highly coveted, but what good is a fucking recovery if I fumble it?

'Cause I'ma drop the ball if I don't get a grip

Hopping on shrubbery on you sons of bitches

Wrong subdivision to fuck with, bitch

Quit snapping fucking pictures of my kids

I love my city, but you push me to the limit, what a pity

The shit I complain about

It's like there ain't a cloud in the sky and it's raining out

Kool-Aid stain on the couch, I'll never get it out

But bitch, I got an elevator in my house

Ants and a mouse, I'm living the dream

Maybe that's why I feel so strange

Got it all, but I still won't change

Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit

It's the motivation that keeps me going

This is the inspiration I need

I can never turn my back on a city that made me and

(Life's been good to me so far)