Uncle Arthur

Strikes the bell for 5 o'clock, Uncle Arthur closes shop

Screws the tops on all the bottles, turns the lights out, locks it up

Climbs across his bike and he's away

Cycles past the gasworks, past the river, down the high street

Back to mother, it's another empty day

Uncle Arthur likes his mommy

Uncle Arthur still reads comics

Uncle Arthur follows Batman

Round and round the rumours fly, how he ran away from Mum

On his 32nd birthday, told her that he'd found a chum

Mother cried and raved and yelled and fussed

Arthur left her no illusion, brought the girl round, save confusion

Sally was the real thing, not just lust

Uncle Arthur vanished quickly

Uncle Arthur and his new bride

Uncle Arthur follows Sally

Round and round goes Arthur's head, hasn't eaten well for days

Little Sally may be lovely, but cooking leaves her in a maze

Uncle Arthur packed his bags and fled

Back to mother, all's forgiven, serving in the family shop

He gets his pocket money, he's well fed

Uncle Arthur past the gasworks

Uncle Arthur past the river

Uncle Arthur down the high street

Uncle Arthur follows mother.