The Darktown Poker Club

Bill Jackson was a poor old dub

Who joined the Darktown Poker Club

But cursed the day he told them he would join

His money used to go like it had wings

If he yelled queens, someone had kings

And each night he would contribute all his coin

Then he said I'm gonna play 'em tight tonight

He said there'll be no bobtail flushes make me bite

'Cause when I gets in them my hands will be a peach

And he played them tight but lost his pile

And Bill got peevish after a while

So he rose, looked all around, and made this speech

He said you all see this brand new razor

I had it sharpened just today

Now I'm coming in there with my rules

That you must follow when you play

Now keep your big bony hands on the table

While you dealing, please

And don't be slippin' them aces down there

Er, in between your knees

And don't be makin' all them funny signs

Like you tryin' to tip off your hand

Just talk in American, boy, American

So's I can understand

And don't be dealin' off the bottom

Because ooh that's rough

Take five, five, then stop, that's enough

Now when you bet put up the chips

Because I don't like it when you shy

Then if you get busted go on out and get some

I'm gonna be here by and byPass them cards for me to shuffle

Everytime before you deals

Then if anything's wrong, I must see

'Cause I mean, you always ain't no, er

Keep playin' that game according to Mr. Hoyle

You all play this game accordin' to me

Now sittin' right there in that there clan

There chance to be a one-eyed man

And Bill kept watchin' him out the corner of his eye

When ole one-eye would deal and then

Would cost that Bill another five or ten

Bill got up again, looked all around him with a sigh

He said, Lord, this is an awful shame

He said, There someone cheatin' in this 'ere game

He said, it goes, er

It ain't no do for me to name the guy

So I'll refrain from mentioning the party's name

If I catch him cheatin' just once again

I'm gonna take my fist and close that other eye

Now you see this brand new razor

I had it sharpened just today

I'm comin' in there with my own rules

That you must follow when you play

Hey kid, keep your hands up there

While you're givin' them out, please

Stop puttin' them wildies

Down there 'tween your knees

Stop makin' all them funny signs

Like you're tryin' to tip off your hand

Keep talkin' in American, big AAA

That's what I can understand

And don't be getting' them off the bottom

Because I keep tryin' to tell you it's rough

This an army game, five, five, halt, that's enough

Now when you bet let me see the reds and blues

'Cause I don't like it when you shy

Then if you run out of gas, go get pumped up

I'm gonna be here by and byPass them pasteboards for me to shuffle

Everytime before you deal, let me ripple

Anything wrong, I wanna see

I mean, you always ain't gonna keep playin' the game now

According to that Mr. Hoyle

You all gonna play this game according to me

Henry, if you break the seal on that new deck of bicycles

We'll go on from there, yeah

Yeah yeah yeah