As The World Turns

Yes, man!

As the world turns

We all experience things in life

Trials and tribulations, that we all must go through

When someone wants to test us

When someone tries our patience

I hang with a bunch of hippies and wacky tobacco planters

Who swallow lit roaches and light up like jack-o-lanterns

Outsidaz baby, and we suin' the courts

Cause we dope as fuck and only get a 2 in The Source, yo

They never shoulda booted me outta reform school

Deformed fool, taking a shit in a warm pool

Till they threw me out the Ramada Inn

I said it wasn't me, I got a twin

"Oh my God, it's you! Not again!"

It all started when my mother took my bike away

'Cause I murdered my guinea pig and stuck him in the microwave

After that, it was straight to the 40 ouncers

Slappin' teachers and jackin' off in front of my counselors

Class clown freshman, dressed like Les Nessman

Fuck the next lesson, I'll pass the test guessin'

And all the other kids said "Eminem is a thizz head"

"He'll never last, the only class he'll ever pass is phys-ed"

Maybe true, till I told this bitch in gym class

That she was too fat to swim laps she need a Slim Fast

"Who? Me?"

Yeah, bitch, you so big, you walked into Vic Tanny's and stepped on Jenny Craig

She picked me up to snap me like a skinny twig

Put me in a headlock, then I thought of my guinea pig

I felt the evilness and started transformin'

It began stormin', I heard a bunch of cheerin' fans swarmin'

Grabbed that bitch by her hair, drug her across the ground

And took her up to the highest diving board and tossed her down

Sorry coach, it's too late to tell me stop

While I drop this bitch face down and watch her belly flop

As the world turns

These are the days of our lives

These are the things that we must go through, day by day

We drive around in million dollar sports cars

While little kids hide this tape from their parents like bad report cards

Outsidaz, and we suing the courts

'Cause we dope as fuck and only get a 2 in The Source

Hypochondriac, hanging out at the laundromat

Where all the raunchy fat white trashy blondes be at

Dressed like a sailor, standin' by a pail of garbage

It's almost dark and I'm still tryna nail a trailer park bitch

I met a slut and said "What up? It's nice to meet ya"

"I'd like to treat you to a Faygo and a slice of pizza"

"But I'm broke as fuck and I don't get paid till the first of next month"

"But if you would care to join me, I was about to roll this next blunt"

"But I ain't got no weed, no Phillies, or no papers"

"Plus I'm a rapist and a repeated prison escapist"

"So give me all your money and don't try nothing funny"

"'Cause you know your stinking ass is too fat to try to outrun me"

I went to grab my gun, that's when her ass put it on me

With an uppercut and hit me with a basket of laundry

I fell through the glass doors, started causing a scene

Slid across the floor and flew right into a washing machine

Jumped up with a broken back

Thank God I was smokin' crack all day and doped up on coke and smack

All I wanted to do was rape the bitch and snatch her purse

Now I wanna kill her

But yo, I gotta catch her first

Ran through Rally's parkin' lot and took a shortcut

Saw the house she ran up in and shot her fuckin' porch up

Kicked the door down to murder this divorced slut

Looked around the room that's when I seen her bedroom door shut

I know you're in there bitch, I got my gun cocked

You might as well come out now, she said "Come in, it's unlocked"

I walked in and all I smelled was Liz Claiborne

And seen her spread across the bed naked watchin' gay porn

She said "Come here big boy, let's get acquainted"

I turned around to run, twisted my ankle and sprained it

She came at me at full speed, nothing could stop her

I shot her five times and every bullet bounced off her

I started to beg "No, please let go"

But she swallowed my fuckin' leg whole like an egg roll

With one leg left, now I'm hoppin' around crippled

I grabbed my pocket knife and sliced off her right nipple

Just tryna buy me some time then I remembered this magic trick

Duh-dah-duh-dah-duh-duh!

Go-go gadget dick!

Whipped that shit out, and ain't no doubt about it

It hit the ground and caused an earthquake and power outage

I shouted "Now bitch, let's see who gets the best"

Stuffed that shit in crooked and fucked that fat slut to death

"Come here, bitch!"

"Come here! Take this mothafuckin' dick, bitch!"

"Come here!"

And as we go along, throughout the days of our lives

We all face small obstacles and challenges everyday

That we must go through

These are the things that surround us through our atmosphere, every day

Every single day the world keeps turning

Keeps turning

Keeps turning

Keeps turning