Role Model

Okay, I'm going to attempt to drown myself

You can try this at home

You can be just like me

Mic check one two, we recording?

I'm cancerous so when I diss you wouldn't want to answer this

If you responded back with a battle rap you wrote for Canibus

I strangle you to death then I choke you again

And break your fucking legs till your bones poke through your skin

You beef with me, I'mma even the score equally

Take you on Jerry Springer and beat your ass legally

I get too blunted off of funny home grown, 'cause when I smoke out I hit the trees harder than Sonny Bono

So if I said I never did drugs, that would mean I lie and get fucked more than the President does

Hilary Clinton tried to slap me and call me a pervert

I ripped her fucking tonsils out and fed her sherbet

My nerves hurt, and lately I'm on edge

Grabbed Vanilla Ice and ripped out his blond dreads

Every girl I ever went out with has gone les

Follow me and do exactly what the song says

Smoke weed, take pills, drop out of school, kill people and drink

Jump behind the wheel like it was still legal

I'm dumb enough to walk in a store and steal

So I'm dumb enough to ask for a date with Lauryn Hill

Some people only see that I'm white, ignorin' skill

'Cause I stand out like a green hat with a orange bill

But I don't get pissed, y'all don't even see through the mist

How the fuck can I be white?

I don't even exist

I get a clean shave, bathe, go to a rave, die from an overdose and dig myself up out of my grave

My middle finger won't go down, how do I wave?

And this is how I'm supposed to teach kids how to behave?

Now follow me and do exactly what you see

Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?

I slap women and eat 'shrooms then OD

Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me?

Me and Marcus Allen went over to see Nicole

When we heard a knock at the door, must have been Ron Gold

Jumped behind the door, put the orgy on hold

Killed them both and smeared blood in a white Bronco

My mind won't work if my spine don't jerk

I slapped Garth Brooks out of his rhinestone shirt

I'm not a player, just a ill rhyme sayer that'll spray a aerosol can up at the ozone layer

My rap style's warped

I'm running out the morgue with your dead grandmother's corpse to throw it on your porch

Jumped in a Chickenhawk cartoon with a cape on

And beat up Foghorn Leghorn with an acorn

I'm about as normal as Norman Bates with deformative traits

A premature birth that was four minutes late

Mother, are you there?

I love you

I never meant to hit you over the head with that shovel

Will someone please explain to my brain that I just severed a main vein with a chainsaw and I'm in pain?

I take a breather and sigh, either I'm high or I'm nuts

'Cause if you ain't tilting this room, neither am I

So when you see your mom with a thermometer shoved in her ass, then it probably is obvious I got it on with her

'Cause when I drop this solo shit, it's over with

I bought Cage's tape, opened it and dubbed over it

I came to the club drunk with a fake ID

Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?

I've been with 10 women who got HIV

Now don't you want to grow up to be just like me?

I got genital warts and it burns when I pee

Don't you want to grow up to be just like me?

I tie a rope around my penis and jump from a tree

You probably want to grow up to be just like me