Dream Life of Rand McNally

(Lemme tell you somethin')

Who is he, Mr. Rand McNally?

Who is he?

Well I had a dream that mystery was me, now

Who else could I be?

'Cause I dreamed I went to England

And met the Spice Girls there for tea

They lost one more

They're down from four

To my favorite number, three

But they're still quite spicy as the orange flavor

And oh so nice to do me the favor

And lick my icing under the table now

But I gotta leave town, Mr. Nally

Just as Scary Spice was about to go down on me

But don't ask how, Mr. Nally

And give up the towel, Mr. Nally

And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

I dreamed I went to Singapore

Got bored and robbed a liquor store

What for?

Nobody knows

I only took a couple of Marlboros

Oh, but that was all they needed

And the criminal was soon defeated

And now in jail I'm waiting

For my punishment of caning

But I gotta think fast, Mr. Nally

Watch your ass, oh

Say, wake up and laugh, Mr. Nally

And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

Better Mister run, a-better

Mister Rand, a-better

Mister Mac, Mr. Nally

Mister run, a-better

Mister Rand and run and run away, okay

Better Mister run, a-better

Mister Rand, a-better

Mister Mac, Mr. Nally

And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

Had a chance to visit the North Pole

But it was way too cold to smoke

Oh, my nose was freezing

I sure could use some

Coughing and wheezing

So, I tried it anyway

And the place went up in flames

How was I supposed to know

You could catch fire to the snow

Oh lord, way to go, Mr. Nally

Way to go, oh

Now you're melting the poles, Mr. Nally

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

I jumped ship in NYC then

I headed south to Washington, D.C.

Didn't think I'd go there

But played some shows there

Fancy, lucky me

And it is really slow there

With our new president on TV

Too many politicians

And liberal Christians

They're all set out for me

Oh, my, cast your vote, Mr. Nally

Castrate your vote, oh

Say, no you don't, Mr. Nally

And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

I thumbed a ride across the prairie

I got hitched in Vegas, yep, I got married

To a lady who loved me

She thought it'd be funny

To gamble all my money

And I got stranded without my clothes

A little bit of "Fear and Loathing" heart attack

I got chased by the Rat Pack once in a flashback

Singing viva Las Vegas

Singing viva Las Vegas

Viva Las Vegas, oh my

I said viva Las Vegas

A-better mister run

A-better mister Rand

A-better mister run, said-a, said-a

Mister, you're the man

A-better mister run

A-better mister man

A-better mister run

I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, a-mister man

I said I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, I missed it, a-mister man

I said a mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister man

A-better mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister, mister

Mister mister, a mister mister

Said-a mister, mister, mister man

And a-rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run run run run

And a-rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, a-done run, run, run a-do-run run run

Mm ba-da, ba-da-ba, ba-da-ba, ba-da-ba

I want you to take a little something for me, T.T.

I want you to oh, oh, oh, sweet, sweet, sweet, boy

A little solo for me

(No, for you, I'm saying! But do it for me, thank you)

(That's not a solo! Come on, gimme somethin', uh)

(Come on)

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run on down the road

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

'Cause I, I saw fireworks from the freeway

And behind closed eyes I cannot make them go away

'Cause you were born on the fourth of July, freedom ring

Well something on the surface, well it

Well something on the surface

Well it kind of makes me nervous

To say that you deserve this

And what kind of god would serve this

You will serve this dirty old disease

I said you gots the poison

I gots the remedy

I said, I said remedy

I got, I gots the poison, poison

(I got the remedy)

I gots the poison

(I got the remedy)

Whose is this got the poison

(I got the remedy)

Said-a poison, poison, poison

Groovin' and shell-o

Look for a mellow fellow like da bro, gettin' paid

Lay, so better lay low

Schemin' on hot while they end the co show

Said-a local ho she be kinda like an afro

So what you sayin', hon?

She's a winner to you

But I know she's a loser

How d'you know?

Me and the crew used to do her

I got the poison (remedy, remedy)

I got the poison (remedy, remedy, remedy)

I got the poison, poison (remedy)

P-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison, poison

P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison, poison, poison

P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison, poison, poison

P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison, poison, poison

P-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-p-poison, poison

A-better mister run

A-better Mister Rand

A-better Mister Mac, Mr. Nally

Mister run

A-better Mister Rand

I said you got the knack for the rally

And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

I settled down in San Diego

And smoked a joint with Java Joe

And with a grin

He took me in

(I spilled coffee on my chin)

And I played my show there

I met my bitches and hos there

And with my holy ho they kindly let me shake my tail there

But one more thing before we go

There's never been any place quite like this home

For once in a lifetime, maybe

I'd be foolish not to stay

Oh, I gotta get away, Mr. Nally

Running the play, oh

Say, what can I say, Mr. Nally

And rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run away

Rah, a-ru-ru-run, a-ru-ru-run, run, run

Say, say, ah, oh

Say, c'est, c'est la, la la la la vie

Say, c'est, c'est la, la la la la la la vie

C'est la vie