If I Had a Million Dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I'd buy you a house

I would buy you a house

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

I'd buy you furniture for your house

Maybe a nice Chesterfield or an ottoman

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I'd buy you a K-Car

A nice Reliant automobile

And if I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars

I'd build a tree-fort in our yard

If I had a million dollars you could help

It wouldn't be that hard

If I had a million dollars

Maybe we could put a little tiny fridge

In there somewhere

We could just go up there and hang out

Like open the fridge and stuff

And there'd all be foods laid out for us

Like little pre-wrapped sausages and things

They have pre-wrapped sausages

But they don't have pre-wrapped bacon

Well, can you blame them?

Yeah!

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I'd buy you a fur coat

But not a real fur coat, that's cruel

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I'd buy you an exotic pet

Yep, like a llama or an emu

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I'd buy you John Merrick's remains

All them crazy elephant bones

And if I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars

We wouldn't have to walk to the store

If I had a million dollars

We'd take a limousine, 'cause it costs more

If I had a million dollars

We wouldn't have to eat Kraft Dinner

But we would eat Kraft Dinner

Of course we would, we'd just eat more

And buy really expensive ketchups with it

That's right, all the fanciest Dijon ketchups

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I'd buy you a green dress

But not a real green dress, that's cruel

And if I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I'd buy you some art

A Picasso or a Garfunkel

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

Well, I'd buy you a monkey

Haven't you always wanted a monkey?

If I had a million dollars I'd buy your love

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

If I had a million dollars

I'd be rich!