You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch (feat. Straight No Chaser)

All their windows were dark

And no one knew he was there

All the Whos were all dreaming

Sweet dreams without care

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch

You really are a heel

You're as cuddly as a cactus

You're as charming as an eel, Mr. Grinch

You're a bad banana with a greasy black peel

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch

Your heart's an empty hole

Your brain is full of spiders

You've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grinch

I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole

All I need is a reindeer

So he took his dog, Max

And he took some black thread

And he tied a big horn on the top of his head

Then the Grinch said, "Giddy up!"

And the sleigh started down

To the homes where the Whos lay a-snooze in their town

Oh yeah, this is stop number one

The old Grinchy Claus hissed as he climbed to the roof

Empty bags in his fist

Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch

But if Santa Claus could do it, then so could the Grinch

Then he slithered and slunked with a smile most unpleasant

Around the whole room, he took every present

Pop guns, pumpernickels, and cookies and drums

Chicken boys, mistle beans, popcorn and plums

And he stuffed them in the bags

Then the Grinch very nimbly stuffed all the bags one by one

Up the chimney

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch

You're a nasty, wasty skunk

Your heart is full of unwashed socks

Your soul is full of gunk, Mr. Grinch

The three words that best describe you are as follows

And I quote: "Stink, stank, stunk"

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch

With a nauseous super nose

You're a crooked jerky jockey

And you drive a crooked horse, Mr. Grinch

You're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich

With arsenic sauce