Hitchin' a Ride

Hey, mister, where you headed?

Are you in a hurry?

Need a lift to happy hour? Say, "Oh, no"

Do you break for distilled spirits?

I need a break as well

The well that inebriates the guilt

One, two, one, two, three, four

Cold turkey's getting stale

Tonight, I'm eating crow

Fermented salmonella, poison oak, no

There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and I'm dehydrated

My tongue is swellin' up, I say

"One, two, one, two, three, four"

Troubled times, you know I cannot lie

I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride

There's a drought at the fountain of youth, and I'm dehydrated

My tongue is swellin' up, I said

"Shit!"

Troubled times, you know I cannot lie

I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

Say birthday boys, hey