Never Getting Laid

We were so happy, why not mix it up?

I'm so at peace, yeah, I can't drink enough

No way to know just who you're thinkin' of

I just wish you didn't have a mind (ah)

That could flip like a switch

That could wander and drift

To a neighboring -

When just the other night, you said you need me, what gives?

How did it come to this?

Boy, I know where you live

Baby, I'm not angry

Love you just the same

I just hope you get agoraphobia some day

And all your days are sunny

From your windowpane

Wish you a lifetime full of happiness

And a forever of never getting laid

I think this schedule could be very nice (very nice)

Call up the boys and crack a Miller Lite, watch the fight

Us girls are fun, but stressful, am I right? (Am I right?)

And you've got a right hand anyway (and only yesterday)

Was when we called it quits (called it quits)

I was so confident (confident)

'Til the thought of it hit

That any given night, you could be using your lips

On a girl with big -

Boy, I know where you live

Baby, I'm not angry

Love you just the same

I just hope you get agoraphobia some day

And all your days are sunny (sunny from your windowpane)

From your windowpane

I wish you a lifetime full of happiness

And a forever of never getting laid (forever, mm-mm)

A forever of never getting laid (laid, mm)

At the end of the rainbow, I hope you find

A good whole lot of nothin' 'cause you're still inside

And abstinence is just a state of mind