It Depends On What You Pay

The cost, señor, depends on the quality of the rape.

The what?

Forgive me, the attempted rape. Now I know you prefer "abduction," but the proper word is "rape." It's short and business-like.

(sung)

Rape!

Rape!

Rape!

A pretty rape

Such a pretty rape

We've the obvious open schoolboy rape

With little mandolins and perhaps a cape

The rape by coach, it's little in request

The rapе by day, but the rape by night is best

Just try to see it!

And you will soon agree, sеñors

Why invite regret

When you get the sort of rape

You'll never ever forget?You can get the rape emphatic

You can get the rape polite

You can get the rape with Indians

A very charming sight

You can get the rape on horseback

They all say it's new and gay

So you see the sort of rape

Depends on what you pay

It depends on what you pay

The kids will love it!

It depends on what you—

Pay!

So why be stingy?

It depends on what you—

A spectacular rape

With costumes ordered from the East

Requires rehearsals

And takes a dozen men at least

A couple of singers

And a string quartet

A major production

Requires a set[BELLOMY, spoken]

Sounds expensive.

Try to see it!

And you will soon sí, sí, señors

Why invite regret

When you get the sort of rape

You'll never ever forget?

You can get the rape emphatic

You can get the rape polite

You can get the rape with Indians

A truly charming sight

You can get the rape on horseback

They all say it's distingué

So you see the sort of rape

Depends on what you pay

So you see the sort of rape

Depends on what you pay!

It depends on what you pay![HUCKLEBEE &

BELLOMY

, spoken]

So why be stingy?

It depends on what you pay (Pay! Pay! Pay!)

The kids will love it!

It depends on what you—

The comic rape

Perhaps it's just a trifle too unique

Romantic rape

Done while canoeing on a moonlit creek

That's kind of pretty.

The gothic rape

I play "Valkyrie" on a bass bassoon

The drunken rape

It's done completely in a cheap saloon

Nothing cheap!

The rape Venetian—

Needs a blue lagoon

The rape with moonlight

Or without a moon

Moonlight is expensive

But it's in demand

The military rape

It's done with drummers and a band!

You understand?

It's very grand!

It's done with drums and a great big brass band!

Yeah!

Ah!

It's so Spanish! That's why I like it!

I like it too! Ay-yi-yi-yi!

Just try to see it!

I see it!

I see it!

And you will soon agree, señors

Why invite regret

When you get the sort of rape

You'll never ever forget?

We can get the rape emphatic (

Oh, rape!

)

We can get the rape polite

We can get the rape with Indians (

Sweet rape!

)

A truly charming sight

We can get the rape on horseback (

Oh, rape!

)

They all say it's new and gay

So you see the sort of rape

Depends on what you pay

So you see the sort of rape

Depends on what you pay

So you see the sort of rape

Depends on what you pay

So you see the sort of rape (

Rape!

)

Depends on what you pay

Depends on what you pay

Depends on what you pay

Depends on what you pay

Depends a lot on what you—

I say they're only young once. Let's order us a "First Class!"

Pay!

Olé!