You Can't Trust the Weatherman

Her daddy hated his tattoos

But she was in love with a baby due

In September, early September

So they called the kinfolks, set up the barn

Threw some chairs out in the yard

And got a preacher, a Pentecostal preacher

And the man on the evening news

Promised sunny and 72

But can't trust the weatherman

Makes his living off of lucky chance

Whole crowd was soaking wet

Mud all over Mama's dress

No sign of the sun

But a sure-fire sign of things to come

One thing you can't plan

You can't trust the weatherman

Six months after the knot got tied

There were diapers and a double-wide

They couldn't pay for

And one day they had a brainstorm

She held the gun, he cracked the safe

They pulled it off and they pulled away

And they were laughing

'Til they saw lights flashing

Forecast on the radio

Never ever mentioned snow

But can't trust the weatherman

Makes his living off of lucky chance

Cop car hit a patch of ice

Spun around, flipped on its side

That couple got away

And cops only had one thing to say

They shook off the snow and threw up their hands

Said, "You can't trust the weatherman"

They hid their cash under the bed

Of a condo in Club Med

Where the chance of sunshine is 100 percent

But can't trust the weatherman

Makes his living off of lucky chance

Hurricane came ripping through

Tore that condo right in two

Stuff scattered everywhere

And stolen money flying through the air

If you wonder how the story ends

They're back out in the sticks again

So remember when you're making plans

You can't trust the weatherman

Can't trust the weatherman, no, no