Too Dumb for New York City

When I first saw New York City, I was green down to the core

You could see my red neck glowing for a mile or maybe more

Between the hustlers and the hookers, I must have made their day

They peeled me like an apple, Lord, and sent me on my way

When you're pushed and shoved, almost mugged, it ain't no place to be

So I came to one conclusion, New York ain't for me

From sea to shining sea and coast to coast

Somewhere in the middle is the land I love the most

I ain't California pretty, I can't survive the great white way

I'm too dumb for New York City, and too ugly for LA

Well, I made my way to Tinseltown, to Hollywood and Vine

Out among those pretty faces, I'd surely find a place for mine

The way I walk, the way I talk, they'll hang on every word

But don't call me, I'll call you is all I ever heard

In LA what they're thinking ain't what they talk about

At least in New York City, there's never any doubt

From sea to shining sea and coast to coast

Somewhere in the middle is the land I love the most

I ain't California pretty, I can't survive the great white way

I'm too dumb for New York City, and too ugly for LA

I'm too dumb for New York City, and too ugly for LA