Sober Thoughts

Oh, nah-nah-nah-nah

Nah-nah

Disciplinin' my habits, went distant on my attachments

I had to turn my presence to absence

Stuck in a cage, questionin' the hours and days

Depressional phase, my tunnel vision startin' to fade

I started to marry my thoughts, already engaged

Not knowing my next move had me going insane

Depending on alcohol to get me over the pain

Praying my habit don't ever have me turn to c--

I won't allow this temporary pain to turn to a stain

I wanna live but my joy for life is stuck in the grave

God I need you more than ever, I was hoping you came

So used to holdin' sh-- in, it's kinda hard to explain

Picasso the best way to put it

Before you knew the meaning of it, you misunderstood it

Far from perfect, did a lot of sh-- I knew I shouldn't

Duckin' my demons but they comin' like a movin' bullet

Sh--, it's crazy out here, it's like I love it and I hate it out here

Gotta be mentally stable out here, just to make it out here

Never slippin', everyday I'm aware

If I ain't got it, I'll go get it, and I'll make it appear

Tough love, being assertive, that's the way that I care

When I'm distant and I ignore you, then to me you ain't there

When I erase you that's when you worry, replace yo' a-- in a hurry

That's the truth, not a dare, n-- do not compare

All this pain in me, I want it washed away

I gotta keep faith in me, these n-- want me dead

I gotta stay strong, stay strong

I've been fightin' all my life, oh

May God watch my soul

Only people that think that I fell off

Is people who wasn't supportin' before the fame and the fortune

My fanbase was already a force and

I was sellin' out shows before the radio sources

Meanin' the grind of independence what got me in it

Not a co-sign or a mention and this is not fiction

Now I'm feelin' attention from muhf--

That once was d--lickin', and pic-flickin' friendship

And this isn't no damn fool

I knew the game so it's cool

And when you play the game, play it by the rules, uh

Mama ain't raise no c--, I know the difference between loved and used

Life is just hugs and bruises, care and crew

F-- desire, my heart pump fire, ooh

Don't inhale my fumes, I'm toxic, caged in like zoos

Boxed in like boxin', in the studio locked in

Man you couldn't walk a block in my shoes

Not even my socks, sh--

Came from the bottom that's why I f-- with the top shit

I'm talkin' 'bout that never, ever, ever in stock shit

I don't pop sh--, I speak knowledge, just call me a prophet

And if you pay attention then you payin' homage

Cheap jeans with paid pockets

This poundcake got these weight watchers weight watchin', uh

I ain't stoppin' like Hov said

Sit in front of the Bentley, with the doors out like bow-legs

I hate a b-- with a fat a-- and no legs

I love a b-- with some cr-- p-- and dope head

Broke bread with n--, all I got was a thank you

And you got some other n-- out here sayin' they made you, ha

The game tryin' to erase you, got my foot on they necks

You disrespect the tech I'll give you a facial, uh

Apologies to my exes, and no this ain't my confessions

Appreciate your time and investment, patience and effort

Having ya'll was part of a blessin'

Y'all all belong on the cover of Essence

No hard feelings, no love lost

No bad blood, yeah, love is a bad drug

But better to have love than no love

I need a bl--, KorLeone, can you roll one?

And smoke one?

All this pain in me, I want it washed away

I gotta keep faith in me, these n-- want me dead

I gotta stay strong, stay strong

I've been fightin' all my life, oh

May God watch my soul, ah

Ooh-oh, oh, all these battles I've been fighting

Ooh, all these battles I've been fighting

I just gotta keep on goin' on, on and on, and on, oh-ooh