Industrial Disease

Now, warning lights are flashing down at quality control

Somebody threw a spanner, they threw him in the hole

There's rumors in the loading bay and anger in the town

Somebody blew the whistle, and the walls came down

There's a meetin' in the boardroom, they're tryin' to trace the smell

There's a leakin' in the washroom, there's a sneak-in personnel

Somewhere in the corridors someone was heard to sneeze

Goodness me, could this be industrial disease?

Caretaker was crucified for sleeping at his post

Refusing to be pacified, it's him they blame the most

Watchdog got rabies, the foreman got the fleas

Everyone concerned about industrial disease

There's panic on the switchboard, tongues in knots

Some come out in sympathy, some come out in spots

Some blame the management, some the employees

Everybody knows it's the industrial disease

Yeah, now the work force is disgusted, downs tools, walks

Innocence is injured, experience just talks

Everyone seeks damages, everyone agrees that

These are classic symptoms of a monetary squeeze

On ITV and BBC they talk about the curse

Philosophy is useless, theology is worse

History boils over, there's an economics freeze

Sociologists invent words that mean "industrial disease"

Doctor Parkinson declared, "I'm not surprised to see you here

You've got smokers cough from smoking, brewer's droop from drinking beer

I don't know how you came to get the Bette Davis knees

But worst of all young man, you've got industrial disease"

He wrote me a prescription, he said, "You are depressed

But I'm glad you came to see me to get this off your chest

Come back and see me later, next patient, please

Send in another victim of industrial disease"

Ah! Splendid

Now, I go down to Speaker's Corner, I'm thunderstruck

They got free speech tourists, police in trucks

Two men say they're Jesus, one of them must be wrong

There's a protest singer, he's singing a protest song

He says, "They wanna have a war, keep their factories

They wanna have a war to keep us on our knees

They wanna have a war to stop us buying Japanese

They wanna have a war to stop industrial disease

They're pointing out the enemy to keep you deaf and blind

They wanna sap your energy, incarcerate your mind

Give ya "Rule Britannia", gassy beer, page three

Two weeks in España and Sunday striptease"

Meanwhile, the first Jesus says "I'll cure it soon

Abolish Monday mornings and Friday afternoons"

The other one's out on hunger strike, he's dying by degrees

How come Jesus gets industrial disease?