A Christmas Duel

I bought no gifts this year

And I slept with your sister

I know I should have thought twice

Before I kissed her

But with the year we had last

And the dress that she wore

I just went along for the ride

And I came back for more

And I'm sorry baby

That's all ok honey cause see

I bought no tree this year

And I slept with your brother

I wrecked your Daddy's car

And went down on your Mother

I set your record collection on fire

And said I never knew

Felt kind of bad about that

And I know you did too

So whatever you say

It's all fine by me

Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree

Cause the snow keeps on fallin'

Even though we were bad

It'll cover the filth

We should both just be glad

And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together

I married you last year

Bet you thought I was sober, right?

But I was drunk as a skunk and I made a mistake

This could all have been over

Ah honey please don't

Excuse your behaviour

Cause I hired a hitman and changed your will

It's now all in my favour

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me

Who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree

Cause the snow keeps on fallin'

Even though we were bad

It'll cover the filth

We should both just be glad

And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together

Holding on without any reason

Cause something's strong this holiday season

So whatever you say, it's all fine by me

And who the fuck anyway wants a Christmas tree

Cause the snow keeps on fallin'

Even though we were bad

It'll cover the filth

We should both just be glad

And spend-spend this Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together

And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together