The Money Song

If you got it, you don't need it

If you need it, you don't got it

You don't get it, shame on you

Funny, funny, funny, what money can do?

Them that have it get more of it

Less they need it, the more they love it

And it sticks to them like glue

Funny, funny, funny, what money can do?

Ask the rich man, he'll confess

Money can't buy happiness

Ask the poor man, he don't doubt

But he'd rather be miserable with than without

If you spend it, please be wiser

If you save it, you're a miser

You don't want it, you're cuckoo

Funny, funny, funny, what money can do?

La-money, mo-no-money, money-mo-no

Oh, shut up, Jerry, what are you doing?

I'm singing

This is singing?

Don't you like it?

No, I don't like it, you wanna sing with me?

Can I sing with you?

Sure, you can

All right

If I do not need it badly

Friends will give it to you gladly

But I need it, nuts to you

Funny, funny, funny, what money can do?

If I am lucky and I make it

You'll be frightened, but who can take it?

The Internal Revenue

Funny, funny, funny, what money can do?

Birds don't got it, still, they sing

Eating winds up on the wing

Ideal lives some folks affirm

So, okay, you're a bird, but suppose you're a worm

It's a bad thing, oh yes, very

For the germs and sanitary

Will you have some? Oh, thank you

Funny, funny, funny, what money can do?

If I got it (who's got it?), I don't need it (but I need it)

If you need it (and I need it), you don't got it (but I want it)

You can't get it, shame on you (what can I do?)

Funny, funny, funny, what money can do?

Them that have it (where'd they get it?), get more of it (can they keep it?)

The less they need it (who don't need it?), the more they love it (and how they love it)

And it sticks to them like glue (boo-hoo)

Funny, funny, funny, what money can do?

Money, money, we love you

Funny, funny, funny, what you can do?