Hello Sir

Hello sir remember me?

I'm the man you thought I'd never be

The boy who you reduced to tears

The lad called thingy for six whole years

Yeah that's right

My names bob

The one who landed the pop stars job

The one who you told look don't touch

The kid who wouldn't amount to much

Well I'm here and your still there

With your fake sports car and receding hair

Dodgy Farah trousers that you think are smart

Married to the woman who teaches art

Married to the life married to the school

I wanna sing and dance Sir now who's the fool?

Sing and dance you thought I was barmy

Settle down thingy join the army

And who are you to tell me this

The dream I want I'll have to miss

Sir is god he's been given the right

To structure lives overnight

Now I know life's true path

Tanks and guns that will be a laugh

No not me I'm a mega civilian

I won't lead my life riding pillion

But thanks for your advice and I'm sure it will do

For the negative dickheads just like you

As for now I've a different weapon

Stage and screen are about to beckon

And here I sit in first class

Bollocks sir

Kiss my ass