Dearly Beloved

Good mornin', Dearly Beloved

We are gathered here today

To watch two people we know make a big mistake

They'll stand up at the alter

And solemnly swear I Do

They'll be together forever

'Til they find somebody new

Her daddy's in the front row

Mutterin' oh no, here we go again

We had a couple dates

Now she's three months late

And it's twenty buck a plate i spent, oh...

Good mornin' dearly beloved

I'd like to welcome ya'll

To see the side-effects of sex and alcohol

Please bow your heads and join me

In a prayer for these two

Who'll be together forever

'Till they find somebody new

The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse

As he's putting the ring on her

He's checkin' out the bridesmaids

Thinkin' that me might take

The maid of honor's honor...oh

Welcome, dearly beloved

We are here this afternoon

To throw rice as these two

Drive down the road to ruin

With cans tied to the bumper

And a dragging muffler, too

They'll be together forever

'Till they find somebody new

So raise your glass and join me

Here's to the bride and groom

They'll be together foreeeverrr...

'Til they find somebody new