Peach Pie

Now, you probably won't believe this, but

This is a true story

Almost

I'm a farmer in a garden, growin' peaches in the name of Jesus

I'm a friend to the plants and the planet and the animal world

But something's eatin' me up 'cause something's eatin' my peaches

I'm a good-hearted man, and I wanna believe

That there's enough peaches to share between me and the squirrels

As time goes by, I can see I've got a bit of a task

There's a bite in every ripe one, my peaches just ain't gonna last

I prayed to the Lord, "Help me to end this racket"

The Lord said, "A squirrel is just a rat in a rabbit's jacket

So do what you need to do, and I'll forgive you"

A squirrel is a two-timin', no-good, cruel double-crosser

They look real cute, but you know who be stealin' your food

They're slick, they're quick, and they pick the best ones

We'd probably get along if they saved me some

And it breaks my heart to do what I'm a-gonna do

Now, I'm a farmer in a kitchen, invitin' friends over for dinner

I invited the squirrel to come in because I had a surprise

I'd had enough of the fuss, enough of the fightin'

The game is over, now this was do or die

So I pulled out my knife, and I served him a slice of pie

Mm-hm, peach pie