You're the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly (feat. Vince Gill)

Oh, yeah

You're the reason I'm riding around on recapped tires

You're the reason I'm hanging clothes outside on wires

You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

But looks ain't everything, and money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

You're the reason I've changed from beer from soda pop

And you're the reason I never get to go to the beauty shop

You're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

But looks ain't everything, and money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

I guess that we won't ever have everything we need

'Cause when we get ahead, it's just another mouth to feed

You're the reason my good looks and figure is gone

And that's the reason I got no hair to comb

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

But looks ain't everything, and money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

And that's the reason my good looks and my figure is gone

Hell the reason that I got no hair to comb

And you're the reason our kids are ugly, little darlin'

But looks ain't everything, and money ain't everything

But I love you just the same

You know, Vinny (yes?) Not for nothing, honey

You know them shorts you wear every day? (Sure)

Yeah, can we retire them and maybe get a different pair of maybe long pants?

Ain't it chilly?

Well, take a look at your own self

That mirror's a good thing

Maybe, take them curlers out of your hair, put on a little bit of makeup

Listen, the curlers make it poofy, it's a natural look

And that house coat looks like 1962

It's a muumuu, it's vintage, okay?

Oh, it's a moo

Listen, I look natural, like a model in Vogue

Oh yeah, you're a model? What do you model, gloves?

Hey!

I still love you, baby

Well, I love you too, Vin

Oh well, you're my BFF, that's just the way it is

Big fat what?