Pencil Thin Mustache

Now they make new movies in old black and white

With happy endings, where nobody fights

So if you find yourself in that nostalgic rage

Honey, jump right up and show your age

I wish I had a pencil thin moustache

The Boston Blackie kind

A two toned Ricky Ricardo jacket

And an autographed picture of Andy Devine

I remember bein' buck-toothed and skinny

Writin' fan letters to Sky's niece Penny

Oh I wish I had a pencil thin moustache

Then I could solve some mysteries too

Then it's Bandstand, Disneyland, growin' up fast

Drinkin' on a fake I.D.

Yeah, and Rama of the jungle was everyone's Bawana

But only jazz musicians were smokin' marijuana

Yeah, I wish I had a pencil thin moustache

Then I could solve some mysteries too

Then it's flat top, dirty bob, coppin' a feel

Grubbin' on the livin' room floor (so sore)

Yeah, they send you off to college, try to gain a little knowledge

But all you want to do is learn how to score

Yeah, but now I'm gettin' old, don't wear underwear

I don't go to church and I don't cut my hair

But I can go to movies and see it all there

Just the way that it used to be

That's why I wish I had a pencil thin moustache

The Boston Blackie kind

A two-toned Ricky Ricardo jacket

And an autographed picture of Andy Devine

Oh, I could be anyone I wanted to be

Maybe suave Errol Flynn or the Sheik of Araby

If I only had a pencil thin moustache

Then I could do some cruisin' too

Yeah, Bryl-cream, a little dab'll do yah

Oh, I could do some cruisin' too