Makin' Whoopee

Every time I hear that marchin' Lohengrin

I am always on the outside lookin' in

Maybe that is why I see the funny side

When I see somebody's brother take a bride

Weddings make a lot of people sad

But if you're not the one, they're not so bad!

Another bride, another June

Another sunny honeymoon

Another season, another reason

For makin' whoopee

A lot of shoes, a lot of rice

The groom is nervous, he answers twice

It's really killin'

That he's so willin' to make whoopee

Picture a little love nest

Down where the roses cling

Picture the same sweet love nest

Think what a year can bring

He's washin dishes and baby clothes

He's so ambitious, he even sews

But don't forget folks

That's what you get folks, for makin' whoopee

Another year, or maybe less

What's this I hear? Well, can't you guess?

She feels neglected, and he's suspected

Of makin' whoopee

She sits alone

Most every night

He doesn't phone her, he doesn't write

He says he's busy

But she says, "Is he?"

He's makin' whoopee

He doesn't make much money

Only five thousand per

Some judge who thinks he's funny

Says, "You'll pay six to her"

He says, "Now judge, suppose I fail?"

The judge says, "Budge, right into jail

You'd better keep her

I think it's cheaper than makin' W-H-double-O-P-double-E whoopee"