99 Problems

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one

I got the rap patrol on the gat patrol

Foes that want to make sure my casket's closed

Rap critics that say he's "Money Cash Hoes"

I'm from the hood, stupid what type of facts are those?

If you grew up with holes in your zapatos

You'd celebrate the minute you was havin' dough

I'm like "Fuck critics, you can kiss my whole asshole

If you 'on't like my lyrics, you can press fast forward"

Got beef with radio if I 'on't play they show

They 'on't play my hits, well, I 'on't give a shit, so

Rap mags try and use my black ass

So advertisers can give 'em more cash for ads, fuckers

I 'on't know what you take me as

Or understand the intelligence that Jay-Z has

I'm from rags to riches, niggas I ain't dumb

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

99 problems but a bitch ain't one

If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Year's '94 and my trunk is raw

In my rear view mirror is the motherfuckin' law

I got two choices y'all, pull over the car or, hmm

Bounce on the devil, put the pedal to the floor

Now I ain't tryin' to see no highway chase with Jake

Plus I got a few dollars I could fight the case

So I, pull over to the side of the road

I heard "Son, do you know why I'm stoppin' you for?"

"'Cause I'm young and I'm black and my hat's real low?

Or do I look like a mind reader, sir? I don't know

Am I under arrest or should I guess some mo'?"

"Well you was doin' 55 in the 54" "Uh huh"

"License and registration and step out of the car

Are you carryin' a weapon on you? I know a lot of you are"

"I ain't steppin' out of shit, all my papers legit"

"Well do you mind if I look around the car a lil' bit?"

"Well my glove compartment is locked, so is the trunk and the back

And I know my rights so you gon' need a warrant for that"

"Aren't you sharp as a tack? You some type of lawyer or something?

Somebody important or something?"

"Child, I ain't passed the bar, but I know a lil' bit

Enough that you won't illegally search my shit"

"Well we'll see how smart you are when the K-9 come"

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

99 problems but a bitch ain't one

If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

99 problems but a bitch ain't one

If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Now once upon a time not too long ago

A nigga like myself had to strong arm a hoe

This is not a hoe in the sense of havin' a pussy

But a pussy havin' no goddamn sense try and push me

I tried to ignore 'em, talk to the Lord

Pray for 'em, cause some fools just love to perform

You know the type, loud as a motorbike

But wouldn't bust a grape in a fruit fight

The only thin' that's gon' happen is I'ma get to clappin' and

He and his boys gon' be yappin' to the captain

And there I go trapped in the Kit Kat again

Back through the system with the riff raff again

Fiends on the floor scratchin' again

Paparazzi's with they cameras, snappin' them

D.A. tried to give a nigga shaft again

Half a mil' for bail cause I'm African

All because this fool was harassin' 'em

Tryin' to play the boy like he's saccharine

But ain't nothin' sweet 'bout how I hold my gun

I got 99 problems, bein' a bitch ain't one, hit me

99 problems but a bitch ain't one

If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me (gosh)

99 problems but a bitch ain't one

If you havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one, hit me

Woo, woo, uh, uh

Havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son

I got 99 problems and a bitch ain't one

You're crazy for this one, Rick, it's your boy