A Fine Romance

Gee, Sammy, I want to thank you for

The wonderful time I had this evening

Well, I'm glad you had a wonderful time

I spent a buck eighty-five and the only thing I got

To show for it, Carmen, is two torn theater tickets

Let me tell you something

A fine romance

With no kisses

A fine romance

My friend, this is

Why, we should be like a couple of hot tomatoes

Uh, to-mah-toes, Sammy

Oh, I'm sorry

But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed po-tah-toes

Po-tay-toes

Oh, wow

A fine romance

With no little clinches

A fine romance

With no, no pinches

You're just as hard to land as the Ile de France

I haven't got a chance

This is a fine romance

Well, Sam-boy, I'm glad you brought this

Up, because I have a few things to say

A fine romance

With no kisses

A fine romance

My friend, this is

We two should be like clams in a dish of chowder

Sounds a little fishy to me

But we just fizz like parts of a settler's powder

Gee, I wish my dad and uncle were here

A fine romance

You won't nestle

A fine romance

You won't even wrestle

I've never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants

You never take a chance

My goodness, this is a fine romance

Well, I had no idea that you felt this way

If that's the situation, I don't think that I'll be stepping

Out of line too much if I was to ask for a little goodnight kiss

Why, sure

Mm, boi, mwah

Mwah

I think I got up nerve now to take the chance

Oh, you've got me in a trance

Well, are we?

This is a fine romance