Mr Schwartz

Put your heavy metal to the test

There might be half a love song in it all for you

Timing-wise, it's probably for the best

Come here and kiss me now before it gets too cute

Mr Schwartz is staying strong for the crew

Wardrobe's lint rolling your velveteen suit

And smudging dubbing on your dancing shoes

Gradually, it's coming into view

It's like your little directorial debut

As fine a time as any to deduce

The fact that neither you or I has ever had a clue

But Mr Schwartz is staying strong for the crew

Wardrobe's lint rolling your velveteen suit

And smudging dubbing on your dancing shoes

And if we guess who I'm pretending to be

Do we win a prize?

Having attempted twice, both incorrectly

Do we get a third try?

The gloved hand's reachin' in to hit the switch

There's not one goddamn thing that you can do about it

But Mr Schwartz is having tea with the grips

Asking after all the wives and the kids

It's at the heart of what the business is