Let's Call Whole Thing Off

Things have come to a pretty pass

Our romance is growing flat

For you like this and the other

While I go for this and that

Goodness knows what the end will be

Oh, I don't know where I'm at

It looks as if we two will never be one

Something must be done

You say either and I say either

You say neither and I say neither

Either, either, neither, neither

Let's call the whole thing off

You like potato and I like "potahto"

You like tomato and I like "tomahto"

Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto

Let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off

Then we must part

And oh, if we ever part

Then that might break my heart

So if you like pyjamas and I like "pyjahmas"

I'll wear pyjamas and give up pyjahmas

For we know we need each other so we

Better call the calling off off

Let's call the whole thing off

You say laughter and I say "larfter"

You say after and I say "arfter"

Laughter, larfter, after, arfter

Let's call the whole thing off

You like vanilla and I like "vanella"

You saspiralla, and I "saspirella"

Vanilla, vanella, chocolate, strawberry

Let's call the whole thing off

But oh, if we call the whole thing off

Then we must part

And oh, if we ever part

Then that might break my heart

So if you go for oysters and I go for "ersters"

I'll order oysters and cancel the ersters

For we know we need each other so we

Better call the calling off off

Let's call the whole thing off

I say father, and you say "pater"

I saw mother and you say "mater"

Pater, mater, uncle, auntie, let's call the whole thing off

I like bananas and you like "banahnahs"

I say Havana and I get "Havahnah"

Bananas, banahnahs, Havana, Havahnah

Go your way, I'll go mine

So if I go for scallops and you go for lobsters

So all right, no contest, we'll order lobster

For we know we need each other so we

Better call the calling off off

Let's call the whole thing off