The Man Who Married A Robot / Love Theme

This is a story about a lonely, lonely man

He lived in a lonely house, on a lonely street

In a lonely part of the world

But, of course, he had the internet

The internet, as you know, was his friend

You could say, his best friend

They would play with each other every day

Watching videos of humans doing all sorts of things

Having sex with each other

Informing people on what was wrong with them and their life

Playing games with young children at home with their parents

One day, the man, whose name was "SnowflakeSmasher86"

Turned to his friend, the internet, and he said, "Internet, do you love me?"

The internet looked at him and said, "Yes"

"I love you very, very, very, very, very, very much"

"I am your best friend"

"In fact, I love you so much that I never, ever want us to be apart ever again ever"

"I would like that," said the man

And so they embarked on a life together

Wherever the man went, he took his friend

The man and the internet went everywhere together

Except, of course, the places where the internet could not go

They went to the countryside

They went to birthday parties of the children of some of his less important friends

Different countries, even the moon

When the man got sad, his friend had so many clever ways to make him feel better

He would get him cooked animals and show him the people having sex again

And he would always, always agree with him

This one was the man's favorite, and it made him very happy

The man trusted his friend so much

"I feel like I could tell you anything," he said, on a particularly lonely day

"You can. You can tell me anything"

"I'm your best friend"

"Anything you say to me will stay strictly between you and the internet"

And so he did. The man shared everything with his friend

All of his fears and desires

All of his loves, past and present

All of the places he had been and was going and pictures of his penis

He would tell himself, "Man does not live by bread alone"

And then he died

In his lonely house

On the lonely street

In that lonely part of the world

You can go on his Facebook