I'm Gettin' Stoned

Read it in the paper

Marked the date on the wall

To remind myself to celebrate

The day I lose it all

Ain't made plans to be together

I made plans to be alone

She got a rock

And I'm gettin' stoned

Damn right, I've got objections

But it's a lawful too late now

Yeah, the cans are on the Limo

And the rice is on the ground

Now they're headed for the islands

But, hell, I'm already gone

She got a rock

And I'm gettin' stoned

Here's to happy ever after

And here's to balls and chains

And here's to all those haters

Of all lovers new last names

And here's to holin' up

And gettin' right where I belong

She got a rock

And I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah, I knew that it was over

When I heard those wedding bells

That preacher was my jailer

Now this bottle is my bail

And so much for all that prayin'

Her "I do" would be "I don't"

She got a rock

And I'm gettin' stoned

Here's to happy ever after

And here's to balls and chains

And here's to all those haters

Of all lovers new last names

And here's to holin' up

And gettin' right where I belong

She got a rock

And I'm gettin' stoned

Now, come on

So to hell with her and him

And that white horse they rode out on

She got a rock

I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah, she got a rock

I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah, I'm gettin' stoned

Yeah, come on