I Shall Be Free

Well, I took me a woman late last night

I's three-fourths drunk, she looked all right

'Til she started peelin' off her onion-gook

She took off her wig, an' said, "How do I look?"

I was high-flyin'

Bare-naked

Out the window

Well, sometimes I might get drunk

Walk like a duck and smell like a skunk

Don't hurt me none, it don't hurt my pride

'Cause I got my little lady right by my side

She's-a tryin' to hide

Pretendin' she don't know me

I's out there paintin' on the old woodshed

When a can of black paint, it fell on my head

I went down to scrub and rub

But I had to sit in back of the tub

Cost a quarter

Half-price

Well, my telephone rang, it would not stop

It's President Kennedy callin' me up

He said, "My friend, Bob, what do we need to make the country grow?"

I said, "My friend, John, Brigitte Bardot

Anita Ekberg

Sophia Loren"

Country'll grow

Well, I got a woman four feet short

She yells and hollers and screams and snorts

She tickles my nose, pats me on the head

Rolls me over and kicks me outta bed

She's a man-eater

Meat-grinder

Bad loser

Oh, there ain't no use in me workin' all the time

I got a woman who works herself blind

Works up to her britches, up to her neck

Writes me letters and sends me checks

She's a humdinger

Folk singer

Late one day in the middle of the week

Eyes were closed, I was half asleep

I chased me, a woman up the hill

Right in the middle of an air raid drill

I jumped the fallout shelter

I jumped the string-bean

I jumped the TV dinner

I jumped the shotgun

Now, the man on the stand, he wants my vote

He's a-runnin' for office on a ballot note

He's out there preachin' in front of the steeple

Tellin' me he loves all kinds of people

He's eatin' bagels

He's eatin' pizza

He's eatin' chitlins

Oh, I set me down on the television floor

I flipped the channel on to number four

Out of the shower comes a football man

With a bottle of oil in his hand

Greasy kid stuff

But I want to know, Mr. Football Man

Is what do you do about Willie Mays?

Martin Luther King

Olatunji?

Well, the funniest woman I ever seen

Was the great-granddaughter of Mr. Clean

She takes about fifteen baths a day

Wants me to grow a mustache on my face, she's insane

Well, ya ask me why I'm drunk all the time

It levels my head and eases my mind

I just walk along and stroll and sing

I'll see better days, and I'll do better things

I'll catch dinosaurs

Make love to Elizabeth Taylor

Catch hell from Richard Burton