December 4th - A Cappella (Explicit)

They say they never really miss you 'til you dead or you gone

So on that note, I'm leavin' after this song

So you ain't gotta feel no way about Jay, so long

At least let me tell you why I'm this way, hold on

I was conceived by Gloria Carter and Adnis Reeves

Who made love under the sycamore tree

Which makes me a more sicker MC, and my momma would claim

At 10 pounds, when I was born, I didn't give her no pain

Although through the years I gave her her fair share

I gave her her first real scare, I made up for birth when I got here

She knows my purpose wasn't purpose, I ain't perfect, I care

But I feel worthless 'cause my shirts wasn't matchin' my gear

Now I'm just scratchin' the surface

'Cause what's buried under there

Was a kid torn apart once his pop disappeared

I went to school, got good grades, could behave when I wanted

But I had demons deep inside that would raise when confronted, hold on

Shawn was a very shy child growing up

He was into sports, and a funny story is

At four he taught himself how to ride a bike

A two-wheeler at that, isn't that special?

But I noticed the change in him when me and my husband broke up

Now, all the teachers couldn't reach me

And my momma couldn't beat me

Hard enough to match the pain of my pops not seein' me

So, with that disdain in my membrane

Got on my pimp game, fuck the world, my defense came

Then DeHaven introduced me to the game

Spanish Jose introduced me to 'caine, I'm a hustler now

My gear is in and I'm in the in-crowd

And all the wavy light-skinned girls is lovin' me now

My self-esteem went through the roof, man, I got my swag

Got a Volvo from this girl when her man got bagged

Plus I hit my momma with cash from a show that I had

Supposedly, knowin' nobody paid Jaz wack-ass

I'm gettin' ahead of myself, by the way, I could rap

But that came second to me movin' this crack

"Gimme a second, I swear," I would say about my rap career

'Til '96 came, niggas, I'm here, goodbye

Shawn used to be in the kitchen

Beating on the table and rapping until the wee hours of the morning

And then I bought him a boom box

And his sisters and brothers said he would drive them nuts

But that was my way to keep him close to me and out of trouble

Goodbye to the game, all the spoils, the adrenaline rush

Your blood boils you in the spot, knowin' cops could rush

And you in a drop, you're so easy to touch

No two days are alike except the first and fifteenth, pretty much

And trust is a word you seldom hear from us

Hustlers, we don't sleep, we rest one eye up

And the drought will define a man when the well dries up

You learn the worth of water without work

You thirst 'til you die, yup

And niggas get tied up for product

And little brothers' ring fingers get cut up

To show mothers they really got 'em

And this was the stress I lived with

'Til I decided to try this rap shit for a livin', I pray I'm forgiven

For every bad decision I made, every sister I played

'Cause I'm still paranoid to this day

And it's nobody's fault, I made the decisions I made

This is the life I chose, or rather, the life that chose me

If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack

Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black

If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack

Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black

Now if you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack

Maybe you'll love me when I fade to black

If you can't respect that, your whole perspective is wack

Maybe you'll love me when I fade...