There's No Such Thing

Sister, what is this world coming to?

This holiday is so sickening

There's no such thing as Christmas

No such thing

It's just a corporation's golden goose

And they cover it with angel's wings

You know they never believed in Christmas

They know there's no such thing

It's just hidie hay and hidie ho

It's off to the bank on tippy toes

Where they pray with all their might

Before the seasons close

That they hear a million registers ring

Sister, there's no such thing as Christmas

There's no such thing

Ha, ha, ha

Brother, look at this town going nuts

You're throwing such a fairytalе fling

When there's no such thing as Santa Claus

No such thing[Verse 4: Luke Evans,

LeAnn Rimes

,

LeAnn Rimes & Luke Evans

]

Hе's just a sentimental glutton in red

Who's lured by a cookie or two

When all the little vermin are sent to bed

He squeezes down the chimney flue

With all this garbage in their heads

What's a sane intellectual left to do?

Well, it's just hidie hay and hidie ho

It's off to the mental institution they go

We'll tie them up with tinsel and mistletoe

To feel the needle of reality sting

There's no such thing as Santa Claus

Brother, there's no such thing as Christmas

There's no such thing

Ha, ha, ha

No

such thing

One Christmas long ago

Poor orphans in the snow

Were tricked into believing that their

wish could make it so

We learned our lesson well

We broke that wicked spell

We passed the test

Not like the rest with all their caroling

There's no such thing[Verse 5: Luke Evans,

LeAnn Rimes & Luke Evans

,

LeAnn Rimes

]

Only idiots believe in miracles

Like the Gleasons and their criminal kids

They're over two months late

with their rent

And we'd hate to go and blow our lids

But at the cost of our generosity

There's no more grace to spare

So, here's the plan

No money in our hand

No Gleasons living there

It's hidie hay and hidie ho

Kick them out with their baggage in the winter snow

There's a homeless shelter they can go

To learn the value of the lessons we bring

Sister, there's no such thing as miracles

Brother, there's no such thing as Santa Claus

There's no such thing as Christmas

There's no such thing

No, there's no such thing as Christmas

There's

no such thing

Ha, ha, ha

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

There's no

There's no

such thing