The Search - Edit

Hey Nate, how's life?

I don't know, it's alright

I've been dealin' with some things like every human being

And really didn't sleep much last night

I'm sorry

That's fine

I just think I need a little me time

I just think I need a little free time

Little break from the shows and the bus rides

Last year, I had a breakdown

Thoughts tellin' me I'm lost, gettin' too loud

Had to see a therapist then I found out

Somethin' funny's going on up in my house

Yeah, started thinkin' maybe I should move out

You know pack my cart, take a new route

Clean up my yard, get the noose out

Hang up my heart, let it air out

I've been searchin'

What does that mean, Nate? I've been learnin'

Grabbin' my keepsakes

Leavin' my burdens

Well, I brought a few with me, I'm not perfect

Lookin' at the view like this concerns me

Pickin' up the cues right? I'm quite nervous

Hate it when I lose sight, life gets blurry

And things might hurt me

It's prolly gonna be a long journey, but hey!

It's worth it though

Cold world out there, kids grab your coats

Been a minute I know, now I'm back to roam

Looking for the antidote

To crack the code

Pretty vivid, I admit it, I'm in classic mode

Don't need pity given to me, but I can't condone

Talkin' down to me, I'ma have to crack your nose

For crackin' jokes

I'm lookin' for the map to hope

You seen it?

Been makin' a whole lot of changes

Wrote a song about that you should play it

I get scared when I walk on these stages

I look at the crowd and see so many faces

Yeah

That's when I start to get anxious

That's when my thoughts can be dangerous

That's when I put on my makeup

And drown in self-hatred, forget what I'm sayin an'-

Where the beat go?

Ohh

Ain't that somethin'

Drums came in, you ain't see that comin'

Hands on my head, can't tell me nothin'

Gotta taste of the fame, had to pump my stomach

Throw it back up like I don't want it

Wipe my face, clean off my vomit

OCD tryna push my buttons

I said don't touch it

Now y'all done it

I can be critical

Never typical

Intricate with every syllable

I'm a criminal

Intimate but never political

Pretty visual

Even if you hate it, I make you feel like you're in it though

You call me what you wanna, but never call me forgettable

Leave you deep in thought, I could never swim in the kiddy pool

Way that I be thinkin' is cinematic, it's beautiful

Man, I don't know if I'm makin' movies or music videos (videos)

The sales can rise

Doesn't mean much though when your health declines

See we've all got somethin' that we've trapped inside

That we try to suffocate, you know hoping it dies

Try to hold it under water

But it always survives

Then it comes up out of nowhere like an evil surprise

Then it hovers over you to tell you millions of lies

You don't relate to that, must not be as crazy I am

The point I'm makin is the mind is a powerful place

And what you feed it can affect you in a powerful way

It's pretty cool right? Yeah, but it's not always safe

Just hang with me, this will only take a moment okay

Just think about it for a second if you look at your face

Every day when you get up and think you'll never be great

You'll never be great

Not because you're not but the hate

Will always find a way to cut you up and murder your faith

(Whoo)

I been developin'

Take a look at the benefits

Nothin' to meddle with

I could never be delicate

Am I even relevant

That depends how you measure it

Take a measurement

Then bag it up and give me the evidence

Pretty evident

Dependable

Can never be tentative

I'm a gentleman

Depending on if I think you're genuine

Pretty elegant

But not afraid to tell you to get a grip

Proper etiquette

I keep it to myself when I celebrate

It's that time again

Better grab your balloons and invite your friends

Seatbelts back on, yeah, strap 'em in

Look at me everybody, I'm smilin' big

On a road right now, that I can't predict

Tell me tone that down, but I can't resist

Y'all know that sound, better raise your fist

The search begins

I'm back, so enjoy the trip